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Kommer snart

kommer snart

Spend a day...

Category: thoughts // 30.07.2017 at.18:38 o' clock // No comments

July's coming to an end, but we've still got about four weeks left of summer, so here's a few things you can do before going back to school or work.


Spend a day organizing your pinterest albums. If you're anything like me, they're probably a mess.

Spend a day reminding the people in your life that you value and appreciate them. Call your grandparents. Text your siblings. Show up at your BFF's house and invite them out for lunch. Send a letter to your mom or dad (if they live far away), ++.

Spend a day going through all your clothes and give away clothing you don't want anymore. Give it to your local second hand shop, a homeless person who needs them more than you, or siblings / friends who wants them.

Spend a day watching all those popular movies that everyone's always talking about. Dirty dancing, star wars, Harry Potter, lord of the rings, star trek, the Blair witch project, titanic, avatar, the notebook, the lost boys, interview with the vampire, the fault in our stars, twilight, fifty shades... You probably won't like all of them, but at least now you've seen them. 

Spend a day alone and just think. What are you looking for in a partner? In a best friend? What are your career goals? Dream job? How can you reach your goals? How can you fix your problems? How can you improve yourself? Things like that. Get to know yourself a little. Know what you want, so you won't get confused later.

Spend a day educating yourself on global warming, veganism, animal testing, child labour, poverty, religion, abortion, racism, different diagnoses ++. Even if you don't care about any of it, it's nice to know what the actual facts are. When it comes to veganism; watch cowspiracy on netflix. It'll tell you everything you need to know.

Spend all of your days enjoying the summer!



How I'm becoming immortal

Category: thoughts // 27.07.2017 at.16:02 o' clock // 14 comments

You never really know a person until you're at their funeral. At least that's my experience. While funerals are always sad and heartbreaking, I really like - and it's a weird form of 'liking' because I'm bawling my eyes out in grief - those moments when the speaker (usually a priest) tell us about the deceased. When they give us a short summary of that persons entire life. Where they were born, where they grew up, their first marriage, their first child, things like that. And the additional, personal info, like how they would donate money to different charities, or how they used to text their significant other short poems when they were apart. Things like that, that is usually not talked about. Things you'll never know about a person, until you're at their funeral.

That's the moment when you feel like, for the very first time, you know them on a deeper level. For the first time, you know who they were behind closed doors. Who they were when no one saw them. As you sit there, you come to the realization that every person has their own story. That there are so much, so many thoughts, so many memories, hidden behind their smile. As you sit there, you begin to see them in a whole new light. Because there's so much you never knew. You realize that it wasn't just a person who died, it's a whole story. A story that will never be told again. So many thoughts, so many experiences, so much wisdom, lost forever, hidden inside someone who is now gone.

That's what inspired me to write a book. Not in the hopes of earning any money, but in the hopes that when my time comes, my story won't die with me. It'll be right here, available to anyone who wants to know the real me. Because we all have a story to tell, an experience to share, and wisdom to teach. We all have something that shaped us into the person we are today.

One day I'll get married, and have kids. Grandkids, even. And when my time comes, I want those I leave behind to know that even though my body is six feet under, my eyes can no longer see and my mouth is silenced forever, my story - everything that is me - will be immortalized through words on paper, so I'm never truly gone.  


I see humans but (still) no humanity

Category: thoughts // 21.07.2017 at.17:28 o' clock // One comment

I remember reading an article a few years ago. It was about a troubled man from Drammen (Norway). As he was sitting there with one foot out the window, ready to jump to his death, people gathered in the streets. They were talking. Shouting.

But they weren't trying to help him. They weren't begging him to hold on. No. "Jump!", they shouted, with their phones pointing towards him. They were filming. They were laughing and cracking jokes. They hadn't come because they were worried about him. They weren't there to save him. No. They came in hopes of getting something on tape that would get them a few extra views on social media. They cared more about getting something shocking on tape than a mans life.

At that point my heart broke. Not for me this time, but for humanity as a whole. At that point I realized that humanity is lost. Empathy is slowly fading.

That was 3 years ago.

Today I sit here with the exact same feeling. My heart has once again been broken by the people of the world. As I heard the news about Linkin Park singer Chester Bennington commiting suicide, and saw how people were cracking jokes about it on social media, I realized that sadly, nothing has changed. People are still assholes. Empathy continues to fade, as ego grows bigger. I read status updates saying it's good that he's gone so he can't make any more music. A friend of mine wrote that. Maybe he meant it as a joke, maybe he didn't. It doesn't really matter. What matters is that a person killed himself, and people joke about it like his life, his pain, meant nothing.

It's bad enough that we live in a world so cruel that people kill themselves to escape reality, but now we're heading in a direction where we find that amusing. Actually, we're not 'heading in a direction', we're already there. This is our reality now. People are in so much pain they think dying is the better option, and instead of being affected by that fact - instead of trying to change the world - we simply laugh at those who couldn't take it?

1 comment

The one I'll never get over

Category: thoughts // 14.07.2017 at.14:11 o' clock // 2 comments

I thought of you yesterday.
I thought of you the day before that, too.

I think of you whenever I hear a new song.

"A would've loved this".

I think of you when I see old classmates all grown up with a carreer and children.
"What would A's life looked like, if she were still around? What kind of job would she have? Would she have a boyfriend and kids? What would they be like? What would she be like?"

I think of you when I listen to spotify or watch netflix.
Things you'll never know, because they didn't exist back then.

I think of you whenever I read celebrity gossip.
Back in your days, no one had heard of Justin Bieber, Nicki Minaj, The Kardashians or Kylie Jenner. Miley Cyrus was still Hannah Montana. Paris Hilton was still playing a dumb blonde in "The simple life". We listened to Cascada and Snoop Dogg, from mp3 files we had to transfer from our computer to our phones.

I think of you whenever I'm eating chocolate cake.
Thinking back to that day when we were put in groups of two. You and me, baking a cake. The day we become friends.

I think of you whenever I hear someone mention Spain.
Wondering what our lives would've looked like, had we actually moved there, like we had planned.

I think of you whenever I see a picture of a heart with an arrow in it.

Your tattoo, on your left hip. A heart with an arrow, and the words "Te amo siempre". I remember when it was new, how proud you were to show me.

I think of you when I'm frustrated.

How you would always let out a "gaaahhhh", widen your eyes and wave your hands.

I think of you when I see girls with long, thick, black hair.
Yours were like that.

I think of you when it's raining.
How you would always sigh and get frustrated because your hair would curl.

I think of you when I see someone with brown eyes.
Yours were like that.

I think of you when I hear a baby's laughter.
How you loved kids.

I think of you whenever someone mentions the zoo.
How we would sit in the timber slide (tmmerrenna) in Kristiansand Zoo, take selfies and laugh. I remember you filming it.

I think of you whenever I visit Arendal in the summer.
Remember how we used to walk around for hours, looking at stuff, planning a future in Spain.

I think of you whenever I hear the song DJ IRONIK - stay with me.

Your favorite song. How you would write down the lyrics on your desk, on your essays, on your books, and how you would randomly text them to me.

I think of you whenever I read a poem.
How you used to text me short poems to brighten my day. How on your last day on this earth, you texted your mother and me the exact same poem.

I think of you whenever I see a hearse.
Remember how I broke down and cried when your coffin was placed in one.

I think of you whenever I hear church bells.

Remember the pain and sadness from your funeral.

It's been ten years. When you ended your life that night, you didn't erase the pain.
You gave it to someone else 💔.



Let's take a walk inside my head

Category: thoughts // 28.06.2017 at.10:41 o' clock // No comments

Good morning peeps! I'm sitting here drinking my breakfast - I always start my mornings drinking energy drinks - and thinking about life. Having those "what if?"-moments. For some reason I thought it would be a fun idea to share them on my blog.

MONSTER ENERGY ULTRA RED is one of my favorites. Thumbs up for good taste and zero calories!

WHAT IF... The show 'supernatural' is actually a tv-show created to warn people about the supernatural beings that are out there without causing panic? Being hooked on the show since season one I can't help but notice how they seem to hint in that direction. Like how in season 2, episode 18, the brothers visit a haunted movie set only to discover that the ghosts are summoned by the kids in the movie, because the script uses real summoning spells. Being into anything out of the ordinairy, I've been reading up on old spells and summoning rituals myself, and one of the things I noticed right away with the show is that they don't use so called 'real' spells or summoning rituals in the show. They never have. The how to make a deal with devil - ritual is all wrong, and the words they use in their exorcism rituals are lacking more than just a few words, and is also performed incorrectly. In the show we (the boys) later become aware of the fact that there exist books about them (season 4, episode 18) and that there are actors named Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles playing the roles of Sam and Dean Winchester on tv (season 6, episode 15). This could be a way for the producers / screenwriters to drop hints of there being some truth to the story. I'm not saying that the plot of the show is based on real events or that there is a God and angels watching over us (another fun fact: Gabriel, Metatron, Raphael, Uriel, Lucifer and basically every angel appearing on the show are based on biblical creatures, with the names to match. But Castiel? There's no mention of an angel named Castiel anywhere), but that the show, when it first was created, could have been made to inform people of the beings that are out there.  If you dig a little deeper you will come to realize that every being the boys have fought during the first 3-4 seasons are based on old myths. Wendigo's, vampires, ghosts, shapeshifters... 

WHAT IF... There are multiple souls in your body but you are the most powerful one so you have control over the body, and the voices of right and wrong, of regret and fear, are the weaker souls talking to you? Maybe people with schizophrenia don't have an assertive soul, so all the souls are fighting to take over...

WHAT IF... Life as we know it is a game and when you die, you move on to the next level (life)? Now, with that in mind, what if when people slip into a coma and start speaking a different language (it's actually a pretty common thing, called 'bilingual aphasia), it's because they almost died, causing the brain to prepare for the next level (next life), while the body remained in this level?


Let's talk about science and love

Category: thoughts // 22.06.2017 at.23:48 o' clock // 2 comments

I consider myself to be a very monogamous person. When I'm in a relationship there's only him. I don't see other guys the same as I would when I were single. When I'm single I often find myself drawn to good looking, or really funny, guys. When I'm in a relationship, however, I don't find myself drawn to other people at all. No matter how funny or good looking they are, there's just no sexual interest - no desire - there. Never have I felt the need to sleep with another man while in a relationship. Never have I longed for another man's touch or had innapropriate thoughts about some stranger passing me on the street. I don't think it's possible for me to be sexually attracted to two or more people at once. I'm definitely a one man kind of woman. Which, of course, is a very good thing. Yet some people would disagree.

My fianc and I, just living the monogamous lifestyle :)

Polygamy - the act of being in a relationship involving more than one partner - is on the rise, and as a result of that, people on social media often try to convince me that it's unnatural for human beings to have monogamous relationships. They base this on the fact that our primal instincts are telling us to repoduce as much as possible, with multiple partners, to spread our genes. From a scientific point of view, all mammals - including humans - live to reproduce and secure the survival of their species, and while the males are looking to spread their genes to as many female partners as possible, the famales are looking for 1) the male with the best genes and 2) the best baby daddy. These are, more often than not, not the same guy. Basically we want to have the badboy's children, but we want a nice guy to raise them.

From a scientific point of view I have no problem understanding why polyamorous people live the way they do and why they see monogamy as an unnatural thing. Yet at the same time, I think it's important to remember that we are talking about living creatures here, not clothes. When it comes to living creatures there's no "one size solution fits all". While we, from a scientific point of view, are created to reproduce and secure the survival of the species, it's important to note that not all people want, or are able, to have children of their own. 

One thing that science do not take into consideration are human emotions. Some people don't want children in their lives. Some people don't feel attraction towards other people while in a relationship. Some people are too jealous to let their partner 'spread their genes' to other people.

Emotions are natural. The ability to think, understand, feel and make choices. Because of our emotions we are not bound to be slaves to our own primal instincts. Both monogamy and polygamy are choices we make to secure our own happiness. 

Don't tell me that having one partner at a time isn't natural, based on that your priorities are different than mine. We aren't clones, we are different individuals sharing some similar visual traits. That's all. 


A world without people

Category: thoughts // 22.06.2017 at.03:47 o' clock // 2 comments

It was almost 4 AM when our dog, Ronja, needed to pee and begged me to take her for a walk. As I was already up working on my new header (do you like it?) I put some shoes on, grabbed my phone and camera and into the night we went.

I've always loved taking long, quiet walks in the night. I love how peaceful everything seems. I love how the streetlights look like small, man made suns in the darkness, and how they shine on the ground, giving it an almost magical kind of look. I love staring at the moon and the stars and just get lost in the thought of an infinite universe for a moment. How it makes me feel so small.

Normal people have no idea how beautiful the night is. How peaceful it is walking around in a world without people. Without voices and faces. To be able to walk around wihout a bra, in your sweatpants and no makeup, and not being judged because there's no one there to give your nasty looks. 

On our short trip around the neighborhood we ran into Sophie, one of my cats. She walked with us until we got home.


Sometimes I wonder...

Category: thoughts // 21.06.2017 at.18:42 o' clock // 2 comments

Sometimes I wonder how much I exist in other peoples lives. Does anyone think of me when a certain song comes on, or they pass through a certain town?

I wonder how many stories I've been a part of that I may have forgotten. I wonder if, just like I sometimes find myself thinking of people I don't speak to anymore, they also randomly find themselves thinking of me.

I wonder how many pictures I've been a part of. How many photoalbums I'm in, owned by people I will never get to know. Just a stranger in the background when you took that selfie, or a photo of your kid on his first holiday. 

I wonder how many times I have passed someone on the street and ended up being on their mind for the rest of the day. I wonder how many people have wanted to talk to me, but didn't.

I wonder how many people have my pictures saved on their phone or computer, and for what purpose.

I wonder how many dreams or nightmares I've been a part of.

And I wonder what I would be remembered for, should I die tomorrow..



Through social media I've come to know a lot of people from all over the world. Most of them don't speak Norwegian. Some of them read my blog regardless. So I wanted to make a blog in a language they could actually understand.