Jessica Baliciel. Alien chick. 27 år. Mother of cats (4 stk). Forlovet med Espen siden 01/01/17.

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Behind blue eyes: get to know me

Category: Personlig // 29.06.2017 at.21:56 o' clock // No comments

Hello everyone. I'm sure most of you already know me, either from facebook, from my older blogs or in person. Maybe you're someone I went to school with, maybe you're a friend or a family member of mine, an ex, or someone that I used to know a long time ago. Still - and because I've noticed some new locations in my 'who's reading?' section - I thought I'd share a few facts about myself.

I have three first names, which is a very uncommon thing in Norway. The average Norwegian only have one or two, unless they are royalty.

I  took singing lessons at the age of fourteen.

I love animals and growing up we always had pets. We've had a cat, a dog, two mice, a bunch of fish, a turtle, four hamsters, a bunny, two guinea pigs and ten degus. I also had a habit of taking injured or homeless animals home and care for them, so we've also had a raven, a snake, and a bunch of stray cats (that I would let into my room and feed without my parents knowing).

  At the age of thirteen I discovered the horrible truth about the meat and dairy industry. Thinking that people would be just as horrified as I was, I printed over twenty pages and put them up all over school property. Imagine my internal heartbreak when a girl said to me, with a 'you're being overly dramatic' tone in her voice: "So what? They're just animals". As if their pain meant absolutely nothing.

From I was about six years old and until I was about eighteen I wanted to be an actress. In the end, I decided acting wasn't for me after all.

  I'm obsessed with anything paranormal. Ghosts, vampires, aliens, angels, demons.. Urban legends, folklore, old summoning rituals, exorcism, posession, spells, latin, enochian (the language of angels), saren (the language of pleiadians), crop circles...

As a child I never played with dolls. The idea of pretending to be a mother, or a teenager, just didn't appeal to me.

I'm very hard - almost impossible - to impress. While other girls will go crazy over a celebrity talking to them, or get more into a guy if he shows off his wealth, I just don't give a shit. If all you've got is a pretty face and a lot of money, I just don't find you interesting at all. Mainly because there are over a billion people fitting that description. If that's all you've got, you can easily be replaced. Nothing that is easily replaced impress me.

I have a weird obsession with conspiracy theories, and if you think that's bad, you should see what your government is up to ;).


To whoever's looking to get rid of their pet

Category: Verden, fra mitt perspektiv // 28.06.2017 at.22:25 o' clock // One comment

"We're moving and we can't take the cat with us". That's the most common excuse of them all. "Oh really?", I think to myself in a sarcastic, overly judgmental tone, "you're a cat owner and you're moving somewhere you can't take your cat with you?". Why is moving somewhere your cat isn't allowed even an option?

The second most common excuse? "We don't have time for him / her". Then I really hope that you, being the super busy person you are, never consider having a baby. I mean, if you ain't got time for a pet, how would you ever find time to care for a baby?

Then we have the "sudden allergy" excuses. Guess what? There are pills for that! Take them, and stop making up excuses to get rid of the pet you once pledged to love and care for until it dies.

Regardless of the excuses people around us may choose, one thing's for sure: there will be a lot of homeless cats this summer. Some will get murdered by their owners in the most brutal ways you can imagine. Drowned, choked or even crushed to death on purpose. Others will be abandoned and left to care for themselves. Thrown out of moving cars in the middle of the road, or left in a bag or a cage in the woods. Last but not least, let's not forget the cats who are taken to the vet just in time to get put down 'the humane way' before their owner goes on holiday with their wife / husband and kids.

Now, here's a little bit of information you probably didn't know about the so called 'humane' way. If you are going to force this upon a perfectly healthy, happy cat, you should at least know what your pet will be going through. I suggest you print this blog post so you can read it while working on your tan in Spain or wherever the f*ck you're spending your days this summer and just really think about what a shitty person you are. Personally I would hope that you get stung by poisionous jelly fish, get food allergies, sun burned and that your flight is canceled and you end up having the worst days of your life, but that's just me.

First your innocent, happily unaware, pet will see you leave. Then it will be taken to 'the room'. Every pet freaks out when getting anywhere near 'the room'. No one knows why. Maybe they smell death in the air, or they sense something that humans don't. It's strange and unexplainable, but it happens to all of them. Dogs, cats, rabbits... You name it. Once inside, your pet will be held down by one or two people, depending on the size of the pet and how freaked out it is. Then a vet will start the process. They will find a vein, typically in one of the front legs, and inject a lethal dose of some liquid. Hopefully your pet won't panic. They don't all just 'go to sleep' peacefully. Sometimes they die during a panic attack. Sometimes they will spasm for a while, gasp for air or defecate on themselves. 

When it's over, the corpse will be stacked like firewood with all the other corpses of unwanted or sick animals in a freezer. What will happen next? Will they be cremated? Taken to the dump? Rendered into pet food? You will never know and it probably won't even cross your mind.

I can only hope that there are at least some part of you feeling some sort of emotional pain from reading this.

But you don't care, do you? It was just an animal, wasn't it? And once the summer's over, you can go get a new one, right? A cute little kitten for your kid to play with. Then comes another summer, and you take it to the vet once again, to be put down, so you don't have to deal with it. You tell your kid it ran away, or that it was sick and died. Maybe you pretend to go look for it. Maybe you pretend there was nothing you could do. 

How do I know what happens behind closed doors? A vet once told me. And that should scare you. But it probably won't. And that scares me.

1 comment

Let's take a walk inside my head

Category: Tanker & meninger // 28.06.2017 at.10:41 o' clock // No comments

Good morning peeps! I'm sitting here drinking my breakfast - I always start my mornings drinking energy drinks - and thinking about life. Having those "what if?"-moments. For some reason I thought it would be a fun idea to share them on my blog.

MONSTER ENERGY ULTRA RED is one of my favorites. Thumbs up for good taste and zero calories!

WHAT IF... The show 'supernatural' is actually a tv-show created to warn people about the supernatural beings that are out there without causing panic? Being hooked on the show since season one I can't help but notice how they seem to hint in that direction. Like how in season 2, episode 18, the brothers visit a haunted movie set only to discover that the ghosts are summoned by the kids in the movie, because the script uses real summoning spells. Being into anything out of the ordinairy, I've been reading up on old spells and summoning rituals myself, and one of the things I noticed right away with the show is that they don't use so called 'real' spells or summoning rituals in the show. They never have. The how to make a deal with devil - ritual is all wrong, and the words they use in their exorcism rituals are lacking more than just a few words, and is also performed incorrectly. In the show we (the boys) later become aware of the fact that there exist books about them (season 4, episode 18) and that there are actors named Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles playing the roles of Sam and Dean Winchester on tv (season 6, episode 15). This could be a way for the producers / screenwriters to drop hints of there being some truth to the story. I'm not saying that the plot of the show is based on real events or that there is a God and angels watching over us (another fun fact: Gabriel, Metatron, Raphael, Uriel, Lucifer and basically every angel appearing on the show are based on biblical creatures, with the names to match. But Castiel? There's no mention of an angel named Castiel anywhere), but that the show, when it first was created, could have been made to inform people of the beings that are out there.  If you dig a little deeper you will come to realize that every being the boys have fought during the first 3-4 seasons are based on old myths. Wendigo's, vampires, ghosts, shapeshifters... 

WHAT IF... There are multiple souls in your body but you are the most powerful one so you have control over the body, and the voices of right and wrong, of regret and fear, are the weaker souls talking to you? Maybe people with schizophrenia don't have an assertive soul, so all the souls are fighting to take over...

WHAT IF... Life as we know it is a game and when you die, you move on to the next level (life)? Now, with that in mind, what if when people slip into a coma and start speaking a different language (it's actually a pretty common thing, called 'bilingual aphasia), it's because they almost died, causing the brain to prepare for the next level (next life), while the body remained in this level?


The one thing that can ruin your look

Category: Skjønnhet // 27.06.2017 at.16:07 o' clock // No comments

If you're into makeup, like me, you've probably noticed how people have high expectations about every foundation they buy. It has to stay flawless all day long, feel light, yet give just the right amount of coverage. It has to blend well with your skin tone, have the right shade, and shouldn't clog your pores. When it comes to lipstick, however, it seems as if people don't really care as long as they like the color. In my opinion, they should. They really should care. Because a bad lipstick can ruin your look completely. 


Don't get me wrong: Color is important. After all, we all remember back in the day when teenagers used to wear dark (orange) foundation combined with a lipstick so light it looked almost white, don't we? Thank whoever's up there (or down below) we've moved on from that. 

But even more important than color, is how it feels and how well it stays on. You don't want your lipstick to be too creamy, because the cremier the lipstick the shittier it is. A creamy lipstick usually don't stay in place for long. What you do want, is a harder lipstick. But not too hard - you shouldn't have to use force to get a hint of color. It should be somewhere in between: creamy, but not too creamy, and hard, but not too hard. It should be just hard enough to actually stay in place, and just creamy enough that it feels comfortable and easy putting it on.

I've tried close to everything, and I keep going back to MAC every time. There's just something about MAC that I feel like I don't get anywhere else.



Have just the right texture (not too hard, not too creamy)
Are highly pigmented (so you get a good color, not just a hint)
Stays in place even when you're swimming 
(But WILL transfer if you're eating or drinking)
Comes in many colors and shades.



I've got a shaved p*ssy!

Category: Story of my life // 24.06.2017 at.21:54 o' clock // 2 comments

Thursday morning. I slept through the alarm. Woke up at 07:27 AM. "Hey! We overslept!", I said to my boyfriend. "What time is it?", he asked, still with his eyes closed. I didn't answer. Instead I showed him my phone and got out of bed, put on the first pair of clothing I could find, put my hair in a ponytail and went to find Argentina. Originally, like the blogger I am, I had planned to put on some makup and take a few photos of me and Argentina, but there was no time. The appointment was at 08:15. I was stressed out of my mind, but my boyfriend was awfully relaxed. 

We got there on time and the vet - a very pretty, young female - took me and Argentina into a room where my little baby was weighed, given some sedative and then shaved. "Do you mind if I take a picture?", I asked. I figured I at least should have some pictures.

So there I was, taking pictures of my shaved p*ssy. Never have I felt more like one of those annoying parents who are more concerned about getting everything their kid do on tape than the actual well being of said child. I was told the whole thing would take about half an hour and that I was free to leave. They would call me when she was ready to get picked up. 

A few weeks prior to Argentina's surgery the clinic had a poster outside of their clinic with prices for different procedures. The prices for spaying + chip, at that point, was 1500 NOK ,- ($176), so naturally, we just assumed, based on that we were only gonna spay her, not chip her, the total costs would be a little below that.

We couldn't have been more wrong. The entire thing ended up costing us close to 3000 NOK ,- ($352), NOT including pain killers.

We did, however, get all the stuff you see above for free, so I guess it's not so bad after all, but it still kind of sucks that we had to pay so much more than we originally thought.

Argentina spent the entire day sleeping it off and acting drunk, which was kind of funny, yet kind of heartbreaking, to watch. Thankfully she's back to normal now.


5 Weird Norwegian phrases

Category: Norway // 23.06.2017 at.15:25 o' clock // 2 comments

In the northern part of europe, on the western and northern part of the scandinavian peninsula, lies the kingdom of Norway. Home of the vikings, trolls, paganism and heavy metal.

Norwegians are just like everyone else. Nothing particularly special about us. That is, until we open our mouths and say...

Who is this Matias guy, and why is he so crazy? No one knows. But whenever something gets out of hand, we tend to say that it was completely 'crazy matias'.

I don't know who invented this bizarre phrase, but saying something looks like a bombed whore house is just the typical norwegian way of saying "damn, it's messy in here".

You know when you're in a hurry, stressed out, sitting in your car on your way to work, and then suddenly remember that you forgot to lock the door? So you turn around.. Or as we say in norway: you threw yourself around.

Ending a sentence with "I almost said" is a common thing in Norway. Example: "I can sleep anywhere, I almost said" or "it's okay, I almost said". It's funny because.. Well, you didn't almost say it. You actually did say it. 

Norwegians will sometimes say "goodbye in the bathroom" rather than just "goodbye" or "see you later". It doesn't really matter where you are. You could be leaving someones house, or you could be parting after a day of shopping together.. Either way: "goodbye in the bathroom" - sometimes even "goodbye in the bathroom, you old chocolate" (which has nothing to do with the color of ones skin). 


Let's talk about science and love

Category: Tanker & meninger // 22.06.2017 at.23:48 o' clock // 2 comments

I consider myself to be a very monogamous person. When I'm in a relationship there's only him. I don't see other guys the same as I would when I were single. When I'm single I often find myself drawn to good looking, or really funny, guys. When I'm in a relationship, however, I don't find myself drawn to other people at all. No matter how funny or good looking they are, there's just no sexual interest - no desire - there. Never have I felt the need to sleep with another man while in a relationship. Never have I longed for another man's touch or had innapropriate thoughts about some stranger passing me on the street. I don't think it's possible for me to be sexually attracted to two or more people at once. I'm definitely a one man kind of woman. Which, of course, is a very good thing. Yet some people would disagree.

My fiancè and I, just living the monogamous lifestyle :)

Polygamy - the act of being in a relationship involving more than one partner - is on the rise, and as a result of that, people on social media often try to convince me that it's unnatural for human beings to have monogamous relationships. They base this on the fact that our primal instincts are telling us to repoduce as much as possible, with multiple partners, to spread our genes. From a scientific point of view, all mammals - including humans - live to reproduce and secure the survival of their species, and while the males are looking to spread their genes to as many female partners as possible, the famales are looking for 1) the male with the best genes and 2) the best baby daddy. These are, more often than not, not the same guy. Basically we want to have the badboy's children, but we want a nice guy to raise them.

From a scientific point of view I have no problem understanding why polyamorous people live the way they do and why they see monogamy as an unnatural thing. Yet at the same time, I think it's important to remember that we are talking about living creatures here, not clothes. When it comes to living creatures there's no "one size solution fits all". While we, from a scientific point of view, are created to reproduce and secure the survival of the species, it's important to note that not all people want, or are able, to have children of their own. 

One thing that science do not take into consideration are human emotions. Some people don't want children in their lives. Some people don't feel attraction towards other people while in a relationship. Some people are too jealous to let their partner 'spread their genes' to other people.

Emotions are natural. The ability to think, understand, feel and make choices. Because of our emotions we are not bound to be slaves to our own primal instincts. Both monogamy and polygamy are choices we make to secure our own happiness. 

Don't tell me that having one partner at a time isn't natural, based on that your priorities are different than mine. We aren't clones, we are different individuals sharing some similar visual traits. That's all. 


5 natural beauty product replacements

Category: Skjønnhet // 22.06.2017 at.13:33 o' clock // 2 comments

Like most girls I have a huge obsession with beauty products. Unlike most girls, I am also greatly concerned with the fact that I'm putting chemicals on my face. That's why, if possible, I will always choose natural, home made products over drugstore ones. Natural products are simply better. For me. For you. For the environment.


The idea that people put chemicals on their face to remove other chemicals from their face always confused me. For as long as I can remember I've been using olive oil. It's natural, eco-friendly, cheap, it won't sting if you get it in your eyes, it doesn't leave your skin looking red, and it removes waterproof makeup.

We all want healthy, beautiful, silky soft hair. Instead of spending all your money on overly expensive hair masks, try coconut oil. Wash your hair with shampoo like you usually would, flip your head, and massage coconut oil all over it. From your roots to your ends, cover it all in coconut oil. Let sit for 30+ minutes, rinse out with water and shampoo, let your hair air dry and you'll have the softest, most beautiful looking hair you've ever seen. Best part? It doesn't even look greasy. Just shiny, soft and healthy.

If you have oily skin, or if you sweat a lot, you know the struggle of your foundation becoming shiny and nasty all too well. That's why people invented powder. Powder absorbs the sweat (or oil) and gives you a matte, more natural, definitely more flattering, look. Here's a little secret most people don't know: you don't need to buy an expensive, chemical-packed powder to get that flattering matte finish. Cocoa powder (for dark skin) and cornstarch (for light skin) works just the same.

Speaking of cornstarch: it also works as a natural dry shampoo.

Hydrogen peroxide is found in all bleaching products, from teeth whitening to hair bleach to skin whitening creams. Hydrogen peroxide is what's causing the bleaching, the other ingredients are just.. Well, who knows? You can buy hydrogen peroxide at your local drugstore for cheap. If you want to use it as a teeth / hair bleaching product, make sure you get the 3% peroxide, and mix it well with water. Any higher % will have an acid-like effect. 


A world without people

Category: Tanker & meninger // 22.06.2017 at.03:47 o' clock // 2 comments

It was almost 4 AM when our dog, Ronja, needed to pee and begged me to take her for a walk. As I was already up working on my new header (do you like it?) I put some shoes on, grabbed my phone and camera and into the night we went.

I've always loved taking long, quiet walks in the night. I love how peaceful everything seems. I love how the streetlights look like small, man made suns in the darkness, and how they shine on the ground, giving it an almost magical kind of look. I love staring at the moon and the stars and just get lost in the thought of an infinite universe for a moment. How it makes me feel so small.

Normal people have no idea how beautiful the night is. How peaceful it is walking around in a world without people. Without voices and faces. To be able to walk around wihout a bra, in your sweatpants and no makeup, and not being judged because there's no one there to give your nasty looks. 

On our short trip around the neighborhood we ran into Sophie, one of my cats. She walked with us until we got home.


Sometimes I wonder...

Category: Tanker & meninger // 21.06.2017 at.18:42 o' clock // 2 comments

Sometimes I wonder how much I exist in other peoples lives. Does anyone think of me when a certain song comes on, or they pass through a certain town?

I wonder how many stories I've been a part of that I may have forgotten. I wonder if, just like I sometimes find myself thinking of people I don't speak to anymore, they also randomly find themselves thinking of me.

I wonder how many pictures I've been a part of. How many photoalbums I'm in, owned by people I will never get to know. Just a stranger in the background when you took that selfie, or a photo of your kid on his first holiday. 

I wonder how many times I have passed someone on the street and ended up being on their mind for the rest of the day. I wonder how many people have wanted to talk to me, but didn't.

I wonder how many people have my pictures saved on their phone or computer, and for what purpose.

I wonder how many dreams or nightmares I've been a part of.

And I wonder what I would be remembered for, should I die tomorrow..


An alien cat named Minsten

Category: Story of my life // 21.06.2017 at.13:09 o' clock // 2 comments

Today I want to share with you the story of my cat, Minsten. "Why would I be interested in hearing about your cat?", some people might find themselves asking. I don't really have a good answer to that question, so I'm gonna answer it with another question: why wouldn't you? He's adorable!

Actual photo of Minsten as a kitten ♥.

Back in 2010 I was living in Noresund when one day I came across a blog post saying two kittens would be killed off if no one could take them. Being an animal lover I left a comment saying I would take them, which resulted in two things: 1) my boyfriend at the time getting very upset with me, and 2) a 4,5 hour long drive down to Lillesand to get the kittens.

It didn't take long before the female kitten, named Clarissa, began gaining weight. Turns out her own brother, Stumpi, had made her pregnant. One evening, around midnight, she gave birth to two healthy looking kittens. We named them Bjørn (Bear) and Navnløs (Nameless). Ten hours later Clarissa suddenly gave birth to a third kitten. This kitten was a lot smaller than his siblings. Very skinny and fragile-looking. At first he didn't move at all. Even when I held him, he showed no signs of reaction, and I remember just sitting there with this little guy in my hands, tearing up when my boyfriend told me that unfortunately, he seemed to be a stillborn. 

Turns out he was wrong. After some time the little guy started moving. Even though I was relieved, I still couldn't relax. The kitten was alive, but he was still smaller and weaker than his siblings, and they kept pushing him aside. Clarissa herself paid no attention to him, as if he didn't matter at all.

As he grew older we were faced with yet another problem. The weird-looking kitten seemed to have a broken paw. We took him to the vet, who then told us that the paw was in fact not broken. It was a birth defect, most likely caused by the fact that his parents were siblings. She told us that we could either euthanize him right here and now, or we could let him be. She also told us that right now he didn't seem to be in pain, the deformed paw didn't bother him, but as he grew older and gained more weight it might cause him discomfort, and the humane thing to do would be putting him out of his misery.

I decided to let him be, with a promise that I'd come back if one day the paw caused him trouble.

As he grew older he started looking healthier and more like his siblings. He still had that kind of 'alienface' look, but when they were playing, it was hard to tell him and his siblings apart. When the time came for all the kittens to find new homes, we decided that rather than giving him away to strangers and trust them to pay extra attention to his paw, we should keep him and give away his mother instead.

It was a very hard decision to make, and I cried my eyes out when it was time for her to leave. At that time we were living in Lillestrøm, close to Oslo, and I begged the landlord to please be so kind and let me keep them both, but unfortunately the message was loud and clear: ONE cat. I had to choose ONE out of all of them.

Minsten all grown up!

Shortly after, we moved to Gol to be closer to my boyfriends' family. Minsten lived his life as an indoor cat for a few years, until 2012 when we took him to the vet to get him spayed. Little did we know he would end up dead. The vet spent ten minutes(!) trying to revive him and was close to giving up, when finally he came back from the dead. For the next 24 hours I sat with him in the living room, just making sure he was okay. I didn't get up for anything, unless I had to go to the bathroom. 

In july 2015 we decided he needed a girlfriend and ended up with a rescue kitten named Argentina. Little less than a month later we broke up, and I was left to care for the two of them all by myself. About a year after that, I found a new boyfriend who had two pets of his own: a dog named Ronja and a Cat named Kåre / Pus. Cat number four, named Sophie, came into our lives earlier this year, and we're a happy family of two humans, four cats and a dog.



Why you should spay your cat

Category: Verden, fra mitt perspektiv // 20.06.2017 at.18:30 o' clock // No comments

Thursday morning I'm taking my little princess, Argentina (2), to the vet to get her spayed. She's been an indoor cat all her life but now it's time to grant her some freedom, which means she will have to get spayed - or as I like to call it: "fixed" - before we let her walk out the door (or window) and explore the outside world.

According to some guy on facebook, spaying your cat is a bad idea. He wrote, and I quote:

"To all of you who think all cats in Norway should be spayed: we are eradicating the cats! (...) Don't tell me it's not about eradicating the cats! What do you think will happen when cats can't get pregnant anymore? Are the kittens just gonna appear out of thin air?"

The thing is: there are way too many cats in Norway already. I love animals and the idea of a world full of cats, but not like this. Right now there are more cats than there are people willing to welcome them into their homes, and as a result of that, many cats end up homeless. A homeless cat isn't a happy cat. A cat who's left to himself, with no one to care for him, is a cat that will die a slow, painful death. It's not about eradicating the cats, it's about population control. Only when every cat has a place to call home, we can slow down and relax about the spaying. Only when there are no cats dying on the streets we can let them get pregnant. Right now, when hundreds of cats are left to die alone, some because they've never had a home, and others because their family kicked them out before going on a holiday, the humane thing to do is to spay your cat.




This sunscreen will change your life

Category: Skjønnhet // 20.06.2017 at.15:26 o' clock // No comments

The secret to staying young forever? Become a vampire. Or have some mutated genes like that Brooke Greenberg kid (rest in peace). The secret to looking young even though you are getting older? Sunscreen!

Did you know that more than 90% of all visible signs of aging are caused by the sun? That's why beauty gurus all over the world are obsessing over sunscreen. In fact, according to those beauty gurus, you should wear sunscreen 20+ every day, all year round, even if it's a cloudy day, to keep those damaging UVA and UVB's from penetrating your skin.

If you're a guy, this shouldn't be too hard. Just buy any sunscreen and put it on before leaving the house. If you're a girl, however, it's a little more difficult. Girls wear makeup, and because most sunscreens are oily, the two don't mix very well, and you end up looking like you're sweaty. I mean that in a "just escaped from hell"-kind of way. It's not very flattering and you will cringe every time you see a mirror. Believe me, I talk (type) from experience.

Thanks to the internet I found my life / skin saver. It's an asian (japanese) brand called Biorè, and they have the most amazing sunscreen ever! It's perfect under makeup because it's made of a water-like texture rather than the typical oily one, which basically means it won't make you look sweaty or greasy. If you can stand the smell (it smells heavily of alcohol, but don't worry, the smell will dissapear once you put it on your skin) this is definitely worth buying!

Biorè sunscreen:

contains SPF 50
Is made of a water-like texture
does not leave a whitecast
protects your skin from both UVA and UVB's
Does not clog your pores
Is waterproof






Hvorfor livingdoll?

Category: Personlig // 19.06.2017 at.20:31 o' clock // No comments

Jeg har alltid hatt et litt spesielt utseende. Derfor opplevde jeg også fra svært ung alder at utseendet mitt ble mye snakket om, kommentert og kritisert. Spesielt klassekamerater og andre jevnaldrende var fæle til å være ekle og kalle meg forskjellige ting. "De jævla øynene dine, du ser ut som en alien, for faen", hørte jeg en gang ei jente i klassen min si. Etterhvert som jeg begynte med sminke ble ordet 'alien' byttet ut med 'dukke'; jeg ble jevnlig fortalt at jeg brukte alt for mye sminke, at jeg ikke så naturlig ut, og at jeg bare burde holde munn, for dukker kan ikke snakke.

 Rundt år 2008 fikk jeg Paris Hiltons selvbiografi i julegave. Man kan mene hva man vil om Paris Hilton, men èn ting lærte hun meg: "no one can make fun of you if you've already made fun of yourself first". Så istedenfor å la de stygge bemerkningene og kallenavnene definere meg, valgte jeg, litt sånn sarkastisk, å gjøre dem om til brukernavn på sosiale medier. Jeg opprettet profiler og blogger under brukernavn som Barbie, Bimbo, Alien .. Mer eller mindre det meste de klarte å lire av seg som en fornærmelse.

I 2013 så 'de russiske levende dukkene' dagens lys. De opptok stadig mer plass i mediene. En etter en dukket de opp med sine unaturlige kropper og ansikter. Sitt lange hår, sine syltynne neser, store øyne og timeglassformede kropper. Plutselig var det ikke lenger negativt å se ut som en 'alien' eller en 'dukke'; det var den nye trenden. Alle ville være slik nå. Som Valeria Lukyanova, Anastasiya Shpagina eller Anzhelika Kenova. Èn etter èn begynte de normale jentene å skyggelegge nesene sine for å gjøre dem smalere og mindre. Legge lipliner rundt leppene for å gjøre dem fyldigere. Tegne opp øynene, bruke linser og lime på store løsvipper for å gjøre dem større. Kjøpe seg waist trainer for å gjøre midjen smalere. Plutselig var det jeg hadde blitt hånet for i så lang tid - det å se unaturlig og 'falsk' ut - en slags bisarr trend.

Det tok ikke lang tid før jeg ble beskyldt for å kopiere Valeria Lukyanova. Ofte opplever jeg at jeg må 'bevise' via snapchat at jeg er et virkelig menneske og ikke har stjålet Valerias bilder. Folk sliter, av en eller annen grunn, med å se forskjell på oss.

På den tiden var det en annen blogger som brukte brukernavnet livingdoll.blogg.no. Jeg måtte dermed vente til hun slettet bloggen sin. Dette gjorde hun i 2014, men ut av respekt, og fordi jeg ikke ønsket å bli beskyldt for å prøve å ta hennes plass, ventet jeg noen år til før jeg tok det i bruk.



Om meg

Category: Personlig // 19.06.2017 at.15:46 o' clock // No comments

Velkommen til Livingdoll.blogg.no, en blogg skrevet av 26 år gamle Jessica Baliciel, bosatt i Gol kommune med fire katter og en hund. Jeg er opprinnelig fra sørlandet, nærmere bestemt havnebyen Arendal, hvor jeg tilbrakte mine første nitten leveår. Deretter gikk turen til Tønsberg, Noresund, Krøderen og Lillestrøm, før jeg i 2013 endte opp i Gol. Den tjuefjerde september 2016 ble jeg kjent med Espen, som jeg forlovet meg med fire måneder senere, 01.01.17.  

Jeg har alltid vært glad i å skrive, og opprettet min første blogg i 1999, da jeg var ni år gammel. Mange år, og et dusin bloggplatformer senere, endte jeg opp her på livingdoll.blogg.no. Her vil du finne blogginnlegg om mote, sminke og DIY-prosjekter, men også mer personlige ting, som tanker, minner, meninger  og hendelser.



Through social media I've come to know a lot of people from all over the world. Most of them don't speak Norwegian. Some of them read my blog regardless. So I wanted to make a blog in a language they could actually understand.