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Kommer snart

kommer snart

10 tips to save more money

Category: Life, according to me // 16.08.2017 at.22:25 o' clock // No comments

Money, money, money - that's all people seem to talk about most of their lives. They either have too much and enjoy bragging about it, or they have too little and suffer because of it. Most of us are somewhere in between: we get to eat 3 times a day and pay our bills, but we find ourselves wishing we could afford a fancier car or a bigger house. Here's my ten tips on how to save more money.

01 You can get food at 50% off if it expires the next day. Stock up and freeze it.
02 Make, and bring, your own lunch to work / school.
03 Walking / biking saves you a lot of gas money.
04 Never buy a piece of clothing just because it's on sale.

05 Buy directly from China. Most of the items (not including food) you buy here have a 'made in china' label on them. Clothes, toys, sunglasses, bags.. Things like that. That's because the products are sold from China to resellers in Norway, USA, England, basically everywhere. It's common practice, at least here in Norway, to add an extra zero to the price. A toy that would cost you 2 NOK ($0.26) in China would cost 20 NOK ($2.53) in Norway. A piece of clothing that would cost 20 NOK in China ($2.53), are sold by H&M for 200 NOK ($26), and so on. By buying directly from China, for example through eBay, you'll save a lot of money.
06 Get a free membership wherever possible. Supermarkeds and gas station usually offer a membership discount.

You can get a designer bag for (almost) a reasonable price by buying second hand.

08 Work out at home instead of getting a gym membership.

09 As long as there's daylight, you don't need to use lamps. Unless you live in a house where there are no, or very few, windows.

10 Learn how to cook.


Look for anything but your perfect match

Category: Life, according to me // 14.08.2017 at.18:41 o' clock // 2 comments


When looking for a new friend or lover, don't go looking for your perfect match.

Instead, look for someone who's different.

If you always surround yourself with people who are just like yourself, that's all you'll ever know.

People who are always surrounding themselves with things they're already familiar with, things that are safe, that they know they'll like, will never grow. They'll be like trees; stuck in one place.

Life's so much more than just your version of it.

Find yourself a person who's different, and let them influence you with their personality. Let them take you places you've never even considered going, and let them choose that one movie on netflix that you've scrolled past a billion times because it looks boring. Let them take you to concerts and listen to bands you've never heard of and genres of music you've never even liked. Give them some money and let them buy you something they'd want you to wear.

Because, who knows? You might be surprised.

Surprised by how good that movie turned out to be, or how the lyrics in that one song seems to describe you perfectly. Surprised by how nice that place was, or how sexy you felt in the outfit they picked out for you, even if you'd never consider buying any of those pieces when shopping by yourself.

You might end up finding new favorites

in things you'd never even consider giving a chance

if it weren't for that person who came into your life,

opened your eyes,

and gave you a whole new perspective on things.


How to make life great again

Category: Life, according to me // 13.08.2017 at.13:16 o' clock // One comment

I love the 21st century. Yet, at the same time, I find it very depressing. Sure it's fun to watch a movie or spend some time on social media once in a while, but I just can't shake the feeling that I'm wasting my time. That I should be enjoying my youth intead of spending it sitting in my own living room staring into a screen of some sorts. After all, isn't that the kind of things we should be doing when we are old and our legs no longer work without the help of a walker?

01 Get a pen pal. Preferably a family member that lives far away. Instead of calling them on skype or texting them on facebook, write them an actual letter and send it in the mail. Ask them to write you back. Try to write each other once a week / month. Not only is it a great way of connecting with your family members on a deeper level, but even to this day, recieving a hand written letter from someone you care about, just feels more personal than a quick text or a call.

02 Dates these days tend to be shallow. Most people just text each other their adress and meet up for some netflix and chill. Next time, make it a picnic. Put on your sundress, pack some goodies (bread, butter, all that usual stuff, maybe even some cupcakes) and go to the park, or somewhere else, and have an actual date. Most people think of this as a summer activity only, but  if you change your clothing, you can do picnic dates all year round.

03 Speaking of picnic dates; it doesn't have to be during the day. Get out in the middle of the night and head for the hills. Do some star gazing, and wait for the sun to rise. Bring your camera.

04 Go camping. In tents.

05 Go somewhere new. I know that if you're unemployed you probably can't afford to just pack your bags and buy a ticket to Spain. But that doesn't mean you have to stay home. Book a hotel room in another state or town, and see what it has to offer. Probably a lot more than you originally thought. 

06 Don't have any friends? On facebook you do! So why not throw yourself a party and invite them?

07 Dare to be yourself. From my "whisper" days (it's an app where people share secrets anonymously), I remember a lot of people saying they love halloween because it's the one day a year when they can truly be themselves without people judging them. That's sad. That's really, really sad. Especially because the people they fear judgment from are, in fact, just people. People who are no better, and no worse, than you. People who, just like you, fear judgment from other people. Don't force yourself to put up a mask and pretend to be something you feel like isn't really you, just to please other people. Pardon my french, but fuck that shit. Be yourself. Even if that means walking around with fangs and red contacts in July. Don't ever let the fear of being different keep you from expressing your inner self. Because until you're living life as yourself, you're not living at all. What a waste it would be, to die, without having ever truly lived. 

1 comment

When parents are the worst bullies

Category: Life, according to me // 07.08.2017 at.21:56 o' clock // 2 comments

I have very strong opinions, some of which might be considered abnormal or crazy by the general public, and I'm not afraid to share them, be it on social media or in person. I won't keep quiet if provoked, and I don't mind spending hours arguing why I'm right. This has earned me a lot of nasty comments on social media. Some might think that I'm asking for it, because hate is the price you pay for speaking your mind, and I can't say I disagree. I know the consequences of being honest, and I can take whatever bullcrap people throw at me, which is usually men 50+ calling me a "sallad" (how original..) because my name's Jessica Waldorf on facebook, or someone saying that because I look a certain way, I should not be taken seriously.

With that being said, I'll gladly admit that I am concerned. I am concerned with the fact that the majority of mean people on the internet are parents. It worries me that these people, who spend their lives sitting on facebook making fun of my looks and telling me people like me should not be taken seriously, are responsible for teaching young children the difference between right and wrong.

How can you raise a child to be a decent person if you aren't a decent person yourself?

People always talk about how bullying is such a big issue. How children as young as six years old call each other names and laugh at each others flaws. How eight year olds are killing themselves because they're being bullied in school, and what could be done to prevent this from being an issue in the future.

If you are a person in your late 20's, mid 30's, early 40's or anywhere in between, with a kid or plans of having children in the future, you need to grow up a little and stop telling people to kill themselves just because you disagree with something they said. You need to stop using words such as retard, moron, dumb fuck, idiot and other names as an argument or trying to win the discussion by making fun of their looks, their name or their interests. The minute you turn to name calling you're no longer arguing; you're bullying.

The thing that most people don't realize is that children learn from their parents, not by words, but by actions. A good example are children who are born in a home where either the mother, the father or both parents are smokers. In most cases the child itself will grow up to be a smoker, regardless of how many times their parents tell them that smoking is bad. This is because children pay more attention to how you behave than what you say.

With that in mind, dear parents, future parents, or just anyone who's reading this, next time you find yourself having a disagreement with someone:



Stop romanticizing abuse!

Category: Life, according to me // 04.08.2017 at.07:43 o' clock // No comments

When she was six years old, a boy pulled her hair.
"it's because he likes you", her parents said.

When she was ten, a boy grabbed her arm and wrestled her to the ground.
"That's just how boys are", teachers explained.

When she was seventeen, a boy smacked her ass in public.
"ooh, he thinks you're hot!", her friends told her.

When she was twenty two, she came to work with a black eye. 
"It's because I love you", her boyfriend claimed.
And she believed him.

After all, how could she not, when all her life, people around her had romanticized abuse?


Here's why you CAN compare animals to people

Category: Life, according to me // 03.08.2017 at.15:17 o' clock // No comments

I've always loved animals. As a child I had countless conversations with people trying to force their speciesism down my throat. People would tell me that you can't compare animals to people, and I would demand they gave me a valid reason. People would lecture me about 'human qualities', and I would tell them that you'd have to be an idiot to believe that those qualities can only be found in human beings. Today I know better than to call people names, but I'm still convinced there's no such thing as 'human qualities'. Why? First off, it doesn't really seem logical. And second, and most importantly; science has proven me right. Here's a few fun, scientific facts about animals that you probably didn't know.

Cows have best friends and get stressed when they are separated.

When male puppies play with female puppies they intentionally let the female puppies win

Rats giggle when you tickle them, but their voices are so high pitched you can't hear them without equipment

When a male penguin finds a female he likes, he proposes to her with a pebble. If she accepts, they stay together for the rest of their lives.

Otters sleep holding hands so they don't float away from each other.

Wolves use facial expressions as a way of communicating

According to scientists, dolphins are more emotionally evolved than humans.

Ravens can remember faces. If you are mean to one, it will warn other ravens about you and try to take revenge.

Dogs laugh often but humans have trouble recognizing it because it sounds just like panting.

Dogs percieve humans differently from themselves, but cats do not. Cats treat humans like they would treat another cat

Where there are wolves, there are ravens. Ravens follow wolves around, simply because they like them. They also prefer to eat with the wolves instead of alone.

Elephants, just like humans, birds in the raven family and monkeys, console one another with gentle touches and trunk strokes when they are upset.

Octopuses (yes, that's the correct term) are so smart that they are given puzzles so they don't get bored in captivity.

  Tigers are one of the the most vengeful animals on the planet and they always take revenge on those who have wronged them.

Elephants and swans can die of a broken heart if their partner dies. They lay down and shed tears until they starve to death.

Dolphins, whales and apes are known to commit suicide when depressed.

Cats hiss because they're imitating the threat of a snake. Most species recognize and fear a snake's hiss and cats imitate this to avoid confrontation. So next time your cat hisses at you, remember that it's not only telling you to back off, it's also pretending to be an animal that can kill you.

If ants encounter a drunk comrade, they will carry him home to sleep it off.

Female dragonflies often fake their own death to avoid having sex.

Because those so called 'human qualities' can be found in the animal kindom as well, the name HUMAN qualities should no longer be used. A better name would be 'earthling qualities', or simply just.. Qualities. 


Dear straight girls (and gay guys)

Category: Life, according to me // 28.07.2017 at.22:19 o' clock // 3 comments

YO IN DA HOOD!, as we used to say back in the days. The more I think about it, the funnier it gets. I'm sure every 90's kid can relate. You had to get off the internet cause your dad had important calls to make. You had to download music through limewire (which took forever) and when you played the song you just downloaded, thinking it would be Beyonce, it turned out to be some indian dude singing. If you downloaded music videos they usually turned out to be amateur porn. Those were the days, eh?

I'm sure teenagers today don't have a clue what I'm talking about, which means; I'm old. Practically a dinosaur. But you know what they say; old people are the wisest. So let me share some of my wisdom (lol) with you. Some I learned the hard way, others are just plain logic. 

Just because he's your boyfriend, doesn't mean you owe him sex.

If a boy says he likes you but he's not ready for a relationship; let him go. Men are natural born hunters; if they want something, they'll chase it. If he's not chasing you, he doesn't really want you.

If a guy says he wants you, but runs to someone else the minute you turn him down, he never really wanted you in the first place. He wanted whoever he could get, not someone in particular.

If you're 13-14 years old and an older guy 18+ gives you attention and wants to be with you, chances are, he's manipulating you. Usually a guy 18+ would go for someone his own age, that he can show off to his buddies, party with, move in with and have an actual future with. When a guy that old goes for someone that young it's usually because teens that young are easier to manipulate due to the fact that they are insecure and have a burning desire to prove that they're not little kids anymore. You'll probably end up accepting a lot more from him, and do at lot more for him, than any partner his age would. Because he can win any fight, and manipulate you to do anything he wants - usually sexual stuff - by saying things like "I didn't know I was dating a baby" and "I thought you were more mature".

If he won't have your relationship on facebook, he's probably hiding something. Like a wife. Don't fall for the "psycho ex" excuse.

Never trust a guy who's always on his phone but takes hours to text you back.

If he's cheating on his partner with you, he'll most likely cheat on you with someone else.

If he constantly mocks you, tells you how much you need him, and makes rules about how you are 'allowed' to dress, who you are 'allowed' to talk to, if he hits you or kicks you, apologizes, promise he won't do it again, and he still does, just walk away. He's never gonna change, and it'll only get worse. Every time you forgive him, every time you stay, he loses a little more respect for you. And some day he won't bother apologizing for the pain he's causing you, or promise it won't happen again. He'll just do it, over and over, and you'll be too weak to care. If he really loved you, he wouldn't treat you like this.

If he cheats on you once, end it. He'll probably do it again.


5 tips to fall asleep

Category: Life, according to me // 24.07.2017 at.18:57 o' clock // 2 comments

I've suffered from insomnia since I was very young. Probably 6-7 years old, give or take. So if you ever just lie there with your eyes closed, trying to count imaginary sheeps, counting backwards from ten, checking your alarm clock (or phone. We use phones nowadays) every 30 minutes, thinking: "it's 3:30! I REALLY need to get some sleep!" and so on, I know what it's like. So in this blog post I'm gonna share a few tips that works for me, and hopefully also for you.

A hot shower will make you feel more relaxed and comfortable. Combine this with new bedding, and you'll probably fall asleep in no time!

In this blog post I've shared some very good songs to fall asleep / relax to.

It's just another distraction. How do you expect to fall asleep if you reach over to check your facebook, blog, e-mail ++ every 3rd minute? Turn your wifi off, leave your phone on silent, and pretend it's not there.

Close your eyes and imagine something you really want to happen. The hot guy in your class asking you out, for example. Or you finally being able to buy your dream house. It doesn't even have to be realistic. Imagine you can fly. Or turn invisible.

Sometimes the reason you can't fall asleep is because it's too hot, or the air's too heavy. Let some fresh air in. Or get a fan.


5 tips to become a morning person

Category: Life, according to me // 21.07.2017 at.13:40 o' clock // 2 comments

Do you feel like there's not enough hours in a day for all the things you have planned? Chances are you're just sleeping them away. So here's my 5 tips to get out of bed earlier.

If your room is dark you'll convince yourself to continue sleeping. So throw those curtains away, keep your window open and let the sun in! 

Music makes you feel more energized. Create a spotify list, name it "Wake up bitch!" or whatever you like, and play it every morning. I suggest you include the following songs, even if these aren't the kind of songs you'd normally listen to:

Survivor - Eye of the tiger
Cyndi Lauper - Girls just wanna have fun
The pointer sisters - I'm so excited
Little Mix - Black magic
Manian - welcome to the club
Special D - Come with me
Special D - you
Smokie - living next door to Alice

Some people drink coffee, some drink energy drinks, and some simply want a glass of cold water in the morning. Find something that works for you.

It's painful, but I promise it's worth it.

Get some sun in your eyes and wind in your hair. Smell the morning dew and the fresh air.


Let me be completely honest here..

Category: Life, according to me // 18.07.2017 at.22:42 o' clock // 2 comments

While browsing the internet today, I came across this picture.

My immediate response to this was, and will always be, to roll my eyes and shake my head. I'm gonna spare you the lies, and be completely honest: there's no way the little girl on the left could ever compare to the young woman on the right.

Before you attack me for being 'a cold hearted bitch', let me tell you a little bit about the little girl on the left. Her name is Adalia Rose. She suffers from something called progeria, which is a rare condition that makes her body age several times faster than the average human being. People with progeria typically live to be around 8 to 21 years old. Adalia's body, despite her young age, is like the body of an old lady. She will never have flawless skin, or long, thick, shiny hair. She will never have a pair of perfect double D's or a butt like the Kardashians. She will never be able to fit society's standard of what's considered beautiful.

So no. Comparing her looks to the woman on the right and telling her that they are just as visually attractive, is a big, fat, cruel lie. You know it. I know it. Adalia probably knows it. She's not blind. She has eyes. She can see. She has a brain. She can understand. She doesn't suffer from stupidity or denial, she suffers from progeria. Anyone who's seen her on TV or follow her on social media already knows that she's a very clever, young girl with a lot to teach us. She knows she's different. She knows she'll never be the next Miss Universe. So why bother lying? 

Because you want her to feel good about herself?

No. If you wanted her to feel good about herself, you'd tell her what a brave little girl she is. You'd tell her how talented she is. How funny she is. How clever she is. You'd tell her how strong she is. How she's such an inspiration. How she's so precious. You'd tell her that she's amazing. You'd tell her that you're there for her, if she ever wants a friend or just someone to talk to. You'd tell her that there are more important things in life than flawless skin and long hair. If you wanted her to feel good about herself, you wouldn't have to lie. There are a billion things you could tell her, a billion compliments you could give her, that has nothing to do with her looks.

But you don't care, do you? You don't care about her illness. You don't care if she believes you. You're just saying nice things so you can go to bed in the evening feeling like a good person. Like you did something good today. You're saying she's beautiful because deep down, you feel guilty for thinking the opposite, and you think that by "saving" her with lies about how beautiful she looks, you're a better person.

Adalia is beautiful. But it's not because of her looks. She will never look as good as the woman on the right. Adalia is beautiful because of her personality. How she makes people smile, even though she's the one fighting the hardest battle. She's beautiful for never giving up. She's beautiful for being different. But don't say she's just as good looking as a photoshopped model on a picture on the internet, because that's a lie, and we all know it.


A world of clones

Category: Life, according to me // 13.07.2017 at.11:36 o' clock // 8 comments



Fifteen pictures. Fifteen different people. Yet, they all kind of look exactly the same. Kylie Jenner's (picture number 7) copying Anastasia Petrova (picture number 6), and Isabel Raad's (picture number 8) copying Kylie Jenner. In a way they all look like Kim Kardashian, who's copying Megan Fox, who's copying  Angelina Jolie. Then you have Alena Shishkova, who looks like the blonde version of Megan Fox, and Sophie Elise (picture number 13) who's trying to look like Alena Shishkova. Round and round in an endless circle.

It's a world of clones.

Same hair, same lipstick, same highlighter.

Same poses, same smiles, same look in their eyes.

Same eyebrows, same lashes.

Same surgeries, same injections.

No originality.

Just real life copy- paste.

Surgeries becomes real life photoshop.

Makeup becomes real life lightening.

Makes me wonder who these people really are

when they're not trying to be someone else.


WARNING: society doesn't want you to know

Category: Life, according to me // 09.07.2017 at.02:23 o' clock // 8 comments

I grew up in a cult. So did you. You just never realized, because from the moment you took your first steps and said your first words, it was forced down your throat. You never realized, because it's all you've ever known. You don't know a world - a reality - outside of the cult. To you, the cult is the very definition of normal. You eat it, you breathe it, you live it, and most of you never even question it. Most of you will defend it. Most of you will break down anyone who dare stand against the teaching of the cult. You will mock them, you will call them names, you will make fun of them, some of you might even make up untrue statements and pass it off as facts. Because that's what you have been taught.

"What exactly is a cult?", you might ask, thinking back to old movies you've seen of a small group of submissive people, with one, overly religious, very dominat, emotionally abusive leader. That is a cult. But a cult, per definition is also a - to quote wikipedia -  "social group defined by it's religious, spiritual or philosophical beliefs, or its common interest in a particular personality, object or goal".

Not all cults consists of a small group of people living in cabins or tents. Not all cults have strict rules. Not all cults make you sacrifice something of your own. Some cults, like the one you are in, consists of large amounts of people, living in houses. Some, like the one you are in, does not make you rise at six thirty every morning and pray to the man in the sky or greet your leader as a God. Instead, you are given the illusion that you are free to make your own choices. That you don't have a leader, and that you can believe in whatever you want. Some cults, like the one you are in, does not make you sacrifice something of your own. It makes you sacrifice something that belongs to someone else. Freedom, and their life.

"How could the germans let this happen?", we often wonder when people bring up the holocaust. "How did they not see that this was wrong? Why didn't anyone try to stop it?". The answer to those questions are simply: they were brainwashed. Kids growing up in those days were, just like you, taught to believe that this was the only right thing to do. That it was okay to do, because those jews, or homosexuals, weren't like you and me. They were dumb and they didn't quite understand things the way you and I do. Kids back in the days were told, from a very young age, to look the other way and close their eyes to what was going on, because this was necessary. This was for the greater good. Without this, there was no hope for a better future.

Today we look back on our own history, and we are ashamed. Today we understand that it's wrong to own black people as slaves. We understand that it's wrong to lock people with dissabilities up in cages and show them off at freak shows. We understand that being gay is not a disease. We understand that jews shouldn't be gassed. We've come a long way, and we are ashamed of what it took to get us to where we are now.

Still one group of individuals remain. Even today we are brainwashed. Even today, when we send our kids to school, they are taught that it's okay to mistreat a certain group of individuals. That these individuals aren't like us. They don't feel, and they don't understand, like we do. Just like our ancestors back in the days, we are taught to look the other way and close our eyes to reality. To the abuse and slaughter of millions. We are taught that this is the only right thing to do. That if we stop, the consequenses will be catastrophic. We are taught that these individuals are for entertainment purposes only. They live to serve us. They are entertainment, they are fashion, and they are food.

You know which group of individuals I'm talking about, don't you? It's the animals. Every day thousands of young and healthy animals are slaughtered on our demand. Farmers rape their cows (artificially inseminate them) once a year, so they can start producing milk. Once the baby is born, it's taken from it's mother and either killed or raised somewhere else. Why? Because that's what's needs to be done in order for us to get cows milk. Look up any school book and it'll tell you that cows milk are very important to us. That it's very important for our bone structure and teeth. 

Most of us just accept this as the ultimate, undeniable truth, because that's what we were taught to do. To listen, to believe, and never ask questions or think for ourselves. But if you one day were to sit down and actually think about it, you'd soon realize that something doesn't add up. A cow produces milk so that their offspring will get what it needs in order to stay healthy. This includes gaining weight fast. You, my fellow human being, are not a baby cow. Your children are not baby cows. There's a very obvious difference in size here. The weight that is normal and healthy for a calf is not the same size that is normal and healthy for a young human child. Every female mammal produces milk for their babies. The milk contains what their offspring needs to be healthy. Your baby needs your breast milk. But the average six year old human being have no use for breastmilk made for baby cows.

From a very young age you've been brought up to believe that you need cows milk and meat. But if you need meat to stay healthy, how come there are so many vegetarians / vegans out there?

Interestingly enough, vegetarianism / veganism is the one thing that history books love to leave out. They will tell you everything about Leonardo DaVinci. When he was born, where he grew up, his relationship with his family, his proudest moments... But they won't tell you that he didn't eat meat, or that he loved animals so much he used to buy them just so he could realease them back into the wild instead of having them kept in cages. History books will tell you all about the genius Albert Einstein, things he did and things he said, but one thing they will not quote him on is this: "Nothing will benefit human health and increase the chances of survival of life on earth as much as the evolution to a vegetarian diet". History books will tell you how an indian guy named Mahatma Gandhi led india to independence and inspired movements for civil rights and freedom across the world. They will tell you that he was born under the name Mohandas Karamchand. They will tell you about his education, his family.. But they won't tell you that he was a vegetarian.

Instead, we are brought up to believe that only weirdos and dumb people are vegetarians / vegans. We are taught that it's okay to mock these people.

We are taught to care about the environment. To always turn the lights off when we leave a room, and to take short showers. To use the car only when we have to. One thing that they won't tell us is that seventy percent of deforestation are caused by beef production. Or that it takes 660 gallons of water to produce one hamburger(!). That is the same amount of water you'd use if you left the shower on for two full months without turning it off.

What we are a part of, what we teach our children, what we practice, has a name. It's called speciesism. Speciesism is the belief that one species are superior to another, and that it's okay for the superior species - in this case us, humans - to use the other species in the way that best suits us, be it for entertainment, food, fashion or any other purpose of our choice. Speciesism is categorized as a religion, and it originates from christianity where they believe that God created man as the superior being. 

So there you have it. You are religious, and you were brought up in a cult. You believe what you are told without questioning it, and anything that goes against that belief is kept hidden from the public to keep the people clueless and easily manipulated.

Hopefully, some day, people will look back on this era in human history, and feel the same amount of disgust and shame as we do today when we think back on how we used to treat other people simply for being different. Cause that's all that it's ever been - and still is - about: punishing other beings for being different.


//pictures here & here.


Whenever you're feeling suicidal

Category: Life, according to me // 05.07.2017 at.14:32 o' clock // No comments

"If you believed someone was truly going to kill themselves, what would you do about it?", a girl named Jessica (nice name!) asked me yesterday on social media.

Assuming that I had a car and a drivers license, assuming I knew where they lived, I'd ring their doorbell. "Come with me", I'd say. We'd drive far away. I'd take them somewhere new. A new town and a new place. We'd walk around in the middle of the night, staring at the street light and the moon and the stars, and I'd remind them how peaceful the world can be at night.

We'd sit on a cliff and watch the sun rise over the ocean and I'd remind them that every morning when the sun rises, you are given a second chance at life. A new chance to start over, or make things right.

We'd go buy ice cream and they'd be reminded of how good it tastes.

I'd take them diving, and we'd explore a whole new world hidden under the surface. I'd take them to a pet store or a shelter to connect and play with animals, to remind them how wonderful these creatures are and that every life has value.

We'd walk around town and look at the people around us, and I'd remind them how every single one of these people have their own problems to deal with.

Assuming I could afford it, We'd get on a plane and I'd take them somewhere new. I'd show them a new culture and remind them that the world is full of possibilites. Full of new places to see, new smells to enjoy, new tastes to discover and new people to love.

And then, when the day came to an end and it was time for us to head home, I'd stop, and I'd say:

"You don't have to go back. You can stay right here, if that's what you want. You can leave your old life behind and start over. End your routine, not your life".



To whoever's looking to get rid of their pet

Category: Life, according to me // 28.06.2017 at.22:25 o' clock // One comment

"We're moving and we can't take the cat with us". That's the most common excuse of them all. "Oh really?", I think to myself in a sarcastic, overly judgmental tone, "you're a cat owner and you're moving somewhere you can't take your cat with you?". Why is moving somewhere your cat isn't allowed even an option?

The second most common excuse? "We don't have time for him / her". Then I really hope that you, being the super busy person you are, never consider having a baby. I mean, if you ain't got time for a pet, how would you ever find time to care for a baby?

Then we have the "sudden allergy" excuses. Guess what? There are pills for that! Take them, and stop making up excuses to get rid of the pet you once pledged to love and care for until it dies.

Regardless of the excuses people around us may choose, one thing's for sure: there will be a lot of homeless cats this summer. Some will get murdered by their owners in the most brutal ways you can imagine. Drowned, choked or even crushed to death on purpose. Others will be abandoned and left to care for themselves. Thrown out of moving cars in the middle of the road, or left in a bag or a cage in the woods. Last but not least, let's not forget the cats who are taken to the vet just in time to get put down 'the humane way' before their owner goes on holiday with their wife / husband and kids.

Now, here's a little bit of information you probably didn't know about the so called 'humane' way. If you are going to force this upon a perfectly healthy, happy cat, you should at least know what your pet will be going through. I suggest you print this blog post so you can read it while working on your tan in Spain or wherever the f*ck you're spending your days this summer and just really think about what a shitty person you are. Personally I would hope that you get stung by poisionous jelly fish, get food allergies, sun burned and that your flight is canceled and you end up having the worst days of your life, but that's just me.

First your innocent, happily unaware, pet will see you leave. Then it will be taken to 'the room'. Every pet freaks out when getting anywhere near 'the room'. No one knows why. Maybe they smell death in the air, or they sense something that humans don't. It's strange and unexplainable, but it happens to all of them. Dogs, cats, rabbits... You name it. Once inside, your pet will be held down by one or two people, depending on the size of the pet and how freaked out it is. Then a vet will start the process. They will find a vein, typically in one of the front legs, and inject a lethal dose of some liquid. Hopefully your pet won't panic. They don't all just 'go to sleep' peacefully. Sometimes they die during a panic attack. Sometimes they will spasm for a while, gasp for air or defecate on themselves. 

When it's over, the corpse will be stacked like firewood with all the other corpses of unwanted or sick animals in a freezer. What will happen next? Will they be cremated? Taken to the dump? Rendered into pet food? You will never know and it probably won't even cross your mind.

I can only hope that there are at least some part of you feeling some sort of emotional pain from reading this.

But you don't care, do you? It was just an animal, wasn't it? And once the summer's over, you can go get a new one, right? A cute little kitten for your kid to play with. Then comes another summer, and you take it to the vet once again, to be put down, so you don't have to deal with it. You tell your kid it ran away, or that it was sick and died. Maybe you pretend to go look for it. Maybe you pretend there was nothing you could do. 

How do I know what happens behind closed doors? A vet once told me. And that should scare you. But it probably won't. And that scares me.

1 comment

Why you should spay your cat

Category: Life, according to me // 20.06.2017 at.18:30 o' clock // No comments

Thursday morning I'm taking my little princess, Argentina (2), to the vet to get her spayed. She's been an indoor cat all her life but now it's time to grant her some freedom, which means she will have to get spayed - or as I like to call it: "fixed" - before we let her walk out the door (or window) and explore the outside world.

According to some guy on facebook, spaying your cat is a bad idea. He wrote, and I quote:

"To all of you who think all cats in Norway should be spayed: we are eradicating the cats! (...) Don't tell me it's not about eradicating the cats! What do you think will happen when cats can't get pregnant anymore? Are the kittens just gonna appear out of thin air?"

The thing is: there are way too many cats in Norway already. I love animals and the idea of a world full of cats, but not like this. Right now there are more cats than there are people willing to welcome them into their homes, and as a result of that, many cats end up homeless. A homeless cat isn't a happy cat. A cat who's left to himself, with no one to care for him, is a cat that will die a slow, painful death. It's not about eradicating the cats, it's about population control. Only when every cat has a place to call home, we can slow down and relax about the spaying. Only when there are no cats dying on the streets we can let them get pregnant. Right now, when hundreds of cats are left to die alone, some because they've never had a home, and others because their family kicked them out before going on a holiday, the humane thing to do is to spay your cat.





Through social media I've come to know a lot of people from all over the world. Most of them don't speak Norwegian. Some of them read my blog regardless. So I wanted to make a blog in a language they could actually understand.