random names pop into my head.
So I search them up on facebook,
and stalk their profile for a few minutes,
just to see if they're okay.
a mouse or an insect enters my home.
So I pick it up,
and carry it outside.
I get overwhelmed by memories.
Faces and places,
things I've said and done.
So I take my time to text people,
and apologize for things I said ten or twelve years ago.
For things I did,
or for things that may or may not have hurt them.
The people whose names pop into my head,
will never know I saw them,
that I stalked them on facebook,
that they were on my mind.
But that's okay,
they don't need to know;
as long as they're safe.
I watch over them,
not because I owe them anything,
not because I know them,
but because at one point,
when I was all alone,
all I wanted was someone to see me.
When I save an insect or a mouse,
I often have people asking me why.
Don't I know that these are pests,
or just worthless beings?
But I remember a time,
when I was the one they called a pest,
and I was the one being treated
like my existence didn't matter.
I apologize to people,
for things they probably don't even remember,
and I do it,
because I wish someone would apologize to me,
for hurting me
all those years ago.
I am not a better person than anyone,
but I'm trying.
Because experience has taught me
that you can't make the people of the world change,
you can only change yourself
and hope that one day,
the rest will follow.
Treat people like you want to be treated,
and be the change you wish to see.
And if once you were treated badly,
be the person you used to wait for.
Be the hand you wanted to hold,
or the guardian angel you wish you had.
Be there for someone else,
because no one was there for you,
and you know how much that hurt.